Hallelujah
by valele
Summary: I shouldn’t be here, and we both know that – getting caught would be harmful for us both. Shaitlyn, one-shot.


**This is actually from the joint account, but I like it too much to just leave it there. (No offense guys, I just want reviews!)**

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Hallelujah

_It feels like we're running out of time, but we've got all the time in the world._

I gather my clothes up in my arms and walk into the bathroom quietly, not wanting to wake Shane up. I shouldn't be here, and we both know that – getting caught would be harmful for us both.

Not a minute later, I exit the bathroom dressed already, only to see Shane sitting up on the bed, awake. He smiles sleepily at me, then his head falls down on the pillow again.

I laugh quietly, and walk over to the bed. With one hand, I push the hair on his forehead back, and kiss him there. He mumbles unintelligibly, and suddenly, I'm on the bed with him, my legs dangling over the edge and my face close to his. He doesn't need to say anything, I know what he wants – and even though I shouldn't give in, I do. I kiss him hungrily, because even after last night, I still want him desperately.

He wakes up pretty quickly once I kiss him, and soon enough, he's on top of me (somehow, he always ends up on top) and my legs are around his waist. I kiss his neck, moving up and down, and his hands are rubbing my back, slowly moving my shirt up.

Not wanting to let him be in control, I flip us over with some difficulty. He grumbles a bit, but I know he enjoys it, too. It's his turn to kiss my neck, while I run my hands through his hair. He gets to that one spot he knows drives me crazy, and I can't contain the moan forming in my throat.

He shushes me, smirking, and I decide to get revenge. My hands move to his lower back, and my fingers rest on the waistband of his boxers. I don't have to worry about a shirt because he never put his back on last night. With my hands moving up his back slowly, I rub it in slow circles, and I feel him stiffen under me. I've got him exactly where I wanted him.

We kiss furiously, heatedly – kissing is always like that with us. It's a fight, a battle for total control – much like the previous "argument" about who would be on top. It's our stubborn personalities that cause this, and it might annoy the hell out of me sometimes, but I wouldn't have it any other way. There's just no one who would challenge me like he does.

_I can't give him up the same as I can't live with him._

Shane smirks at me across the table, and I ignore him. His steady gaze never leaves my face as I eat my breakfast, but I know how risky that is – any sign that we're together, and we're screwed. It just can't happen that way, not with me being a camper and Shane being a counselor, not with me having a steady (if boring) boyfriend back at home and Shane having about three girlfriends 

back in L.A. But we can't let go of each other; we can't leave. We're trapped in this hole, and we don't want it any other way.

Shane's foot touches my calf, and I kick him, but he ignores it, just going farther up my leg. I shiver with his touch, but try to remain calm. I need to keep my poker face or someone will notice. At some point, it becomes unbearable, and I stand up abruptly. His foot was between my thighs already, and any higher up and I wouldn't be able to hold it anymore.

Ignoring Mitchie's question, I leave the Mess Hall and walk into his cabin, knowing he'll follow soon after, and I'm right. Not a minute later, I'm against the wall, his lips against mine, his hands on my hips and pulling me closer and mine in his hair. We remove each other's clothing quickly, shirts on the floor and pants somewhere along the way. I love the way he presses me up against the wall, and I know he does too.

He hitches my leg up to his waist, and I moan quietly. It's always quiet, what we do – we really worry about people finding out. It's quiet and physical – so physical I sometimes wonder if there's any more to our relationship than that, the sex and the excitement of it.

But there is, and even as we hide away in Shane's cabin, overtaken with passion and whatever else it is that makes us do this, I can tell. I don't just go to Shane for good sex, I definitely don't. But right now, it's all that's on my mind, as he lays butterfly kisses all over my collarbone and lower than that.

There's really no way to explain how he makes me feel – it's truly indescribable. It's overwhelming, the way I feel; it makes me dizzy and confused, yet alive and awake. It might not make sense to anyone, but it does to me.

Suddenly, I'm sitting on the chair next to the window, and Shane's standing by our wall, a confused expression on his face. I don't even know what's going on, or I'm not sure, but I know I'm the one that started it. I burst into tears, and they surprise me. Why am I crying?

They surprise Shane, too, because immediately, he's by me, hugging me and wiping the tears gently off my face. But it doesn't help – if anything, it just makes it worse, and I quickly put my shirt on, running out the cabin.

I don't care if anyone sees me, but luckily, no one does, and I reach my destination without being seen. I sit down, still crying – I don't know why I'm crying, why these tears are falling down my face, but they are, and I can't stop them. I'm trying, I'm trying to stop, I'm trying to calm down, but nothing seems to work.

I feel someone's arms around my shoulders, pulling me closer. It's not Shane, I know it isn't. It's a girl, but who would it be? Oh, of course. Mitchie. She's my best friend, and even she doesn't know about Shane – that's how secretive we've been.

I'm still crying, but she doesn't ask anything. She just sits there and holds me. At some point, I start muttering things in my crying, things that I doubt she understands, but I do. "It's too much," I say. "I can't handle it."

Mitchie still doesn't ask, and I feel grateful. But then I hear someone else's footsteps, and I know it's Shane right away. I don't think anything while Mitchie gets up, and now it's Shane turn to hold me. I don't think anything while he plays with my hair, while he puts his arms around my waist. But when he kisses my cheek softly, I think of something.

I think of why I'm doing this, what's happening to me. I've never been in this situation before, and it's not something I'd ever thought about before. It's too much to handle, too much to worry about, too much to think about. It's complicated and wonderful and unstable and breathtaking and painful many other things – I could spend days naming them.

It doesn't matter what it is, though. What matters is that it's happening to me, I feel it all through my body. It's like an electric feeling running through my body, through my veins, from my head to my toes, reaching every corner of my body. And as I look up at him, it all hits me at once, the realization of what's happened – I'm in love, and there's no going back now. It's too late, but I don't care.

I kiss him and he kisses me back, and I love the feeling of it. I pay attention to every little detail and every feeling that's rushing through my body right now, and I've never felt more alive than now. Because I'm in love, and I don't want to change that.

_Got nothing but time on our hands_

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**So, reviews?**


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